The Imposter WISE women (Part 2 of 2)

In a previous post, I listed some of the symptoms of the imposter syndrome discussed at the “Imposter Panel" in the Grace Hopper Conference 2008.
If you have ever felt like an imposter and you are wondering if there is a cure for it, here’s how the panellists deal with it:

• There is no cure! It never stops (always new responsibilities). Treat the symptoms.
• Believe in yourself and surround yourself with others that believe in you.
• Value the things you’re good at, remember your previous successes. Think about where you were (5-10) years ago.
• Accept self-doubt as part of who you are. Remember how many other people that you believe successful people have doubted themselves.
• Take risks (calculated) ... you’ll stand out.
  

If you ever felt an imposter, like all these women (including myself) have, you know by now that:

• You’re not the only one,
• there’s no cure, but
• you can treat the symptoms and
• you’ll eventually feel less imposter with time and practice.

This panel was one of my favorites. I'm looking forward for Grace Hopper 2009 in Tucson, AZ. Keep tuned for blogs about similar topics this year.

Are you an impostor?

What is the Impostor Syndrome?
According to good ol’ Wikipedia:

"Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be."

Last year at GHC2008, my favorite session was The Impostor Panel, where five incredibly successful women stood up one by one on stage and revealed that they were impostors. Telle Whitney, CEO of the Anita Borg Institute for Women and Technology, mentions in her blog post about the panel:

“By talking about your experience, you have a chance to make a difference in others lives.”

So, Are you an Impostor?
My name is Serena, and I am an impostor.

I might not be your stereotypical nerd and I might not be the most tech-savvy geek in the world. I like the color pink, I like wearing dresses, and I like to paint my nails. But does that make me less of a geek?

I distinctly remember the first time I stepped into my first computer science class, almost four years ago. I had arrived early and I remember walking up to the big auditorium doors where the rest of the students were waiting to get in, and thinking "Why are there only guys here? Maybe this is the wrong classroom." I was seconds away from turning around, until I heard one of the students mention the course code. This was my class.

As I walked into the auditorium, I quickly scanned the rows for a friendly face to sit beside. I distinctly remember feeling like I stood out like a sore thumb in my bright pink t-shirt amid the crowd of males shuffling down the rows with their worn out black heavy-metal t-shirts and greasy hair.

And then I saw it; a friendly face waving at me, another female. We became friends instantly. We both went into the Computer Science program without taking any previous computer courses at all, and felt like we were falling behind quickly. After the first few weeks, we still had no idea what was going on in class and both failed our very first university midterm (though unfortunately not our last, ha!). What did we get ourselves into? We were convinced that people were beginning to whisper "what is SHE doing here, girls can't program". Unfortunately throughout the years, that feeling of insecurity never really went away.

We never felt like we belonged here, but we weren't going to give up that easily. I felt discouraged and disappointed, but I at least I wasn't alone. Assignments that only took about an hour for other students to finish, took us weeks to complete, but we always helped each other along the way. We were impostors in disguise, trying to fool everyone into believing that we belonged.

And now four years later, somehow we survived. Having that support network to motivate and encourage each other was vital for my success, and this became one of my main objectives in establishing the CU-WISE group on campus. Hopefully it can make a difference in someone else's life. We've already experienced so much success over the past two years, and are fortunate enough to be able to present a session at GHC this October.


Closing thoughts..
Why do we underestimate ourselves so much? Do others secretly feel the same way? Are we all impostors in disguise?

The Imposter WISE women (Part 1 of 2)

“It seems that you have the imposter syndrome” told me a good friend of mine when I was talking about my new job, which I didn’t think I would get. I had never heard about it before, and it was until Grace Hopper 2008 that I heard about it again.

I was very surprised to see the room full, even with people standing for the Imposter Panel. My initial thought was: Do all of these women share my feelings? And it was confirmed when the moderator started the panel with the question: “Who has felt as an impostor in her life?” And everyone raised their hands. I was even more surprised to hear that these feelings were very common in WISE women.

The panellist were successful, recognized women in industry and academia. One by one, the panellists completed the sentence: “I feel an imposter when...”

These are some of their answers:

• I am in new situations (new school, new job, etc.).
• I don’t understand what people are talking about.
• I get asked to do things I don’t feel qualified for.
• I do something that successful people do.
• I do something that women don’t often do.

One of the panellists shared that she used to feel an impostor attending a math conference (1975), giving a talk (1980) or meeting Nobel laureates (2000) but she does not feel like that anymore in those circumstances. However, has attended lots of conferences and given many talks without that feeling. However, she still feels and impostor meeting philanthropists and asking for large amounts of funding for her University.

If you have ever felt as an imposter, you know by now that you’re not the only one. Is there a “cure” for this syndrome? In the next post I will tell you what the panellists have done to deal with it.

Keep tuned and share your “imposter” stories!

Grace Hopper Conference: We ARE building a better world

I've always admired people doing great things and making a difference and I look up to them for inspiration and role models, in particular if they're females.

What I really learned in this conference is that they struggle like us, have the impostor syndrome like many of us, love to go dancing like many of us, they're just ahead.
It was inspiring listening to Fran Allen, IBM Fellow Emerita at the J. Watson Research Laboratories, the only woman that has received the ACM's Turing Award (2006), first woman named an IBM Fellow and the first woman president of IBM's Academy of Technology. She shared her big steps on her career and achievements, but she also shared her hopes for the future, which I quote:

• I'd like to see a new generation of women experience the excitement I feel for our field.
• I'd like to see women creating the workplace that meets their needs.
• I'd lie to see Computer Science become a core science of more interest to women (and others).
• We achieve Anita's (Anita Borg's) goal: 50-50 by 2020.
• Many Women Turing Award Winners.

Another treat for me, was listening to Mary Lou Jepsen, founding CTO of One Laptop per Child (OLPC), an organization whose mission is to deliver low-cost mesh-networked laptos en masse to children in developing countries. She created the machine many thought it was impossible and she shared with us the process in doing this. For this, she was named in 2008 one of the most influential people in the world by Time Magazine.
Mary Lou is such an energetic and inspiring person. She is currently leading her company Pixel Qi and her premise is that portables are all about the screen. And it was in screen innovations where she used her knowledge in Optics to design a cheap, yet reliable and innovative laptop.


These are just a couple of examples of the amazing women we met. I will continue with some of the discussions presented on panels such as: "The Imposter Panel" and "Women Wroking in International Development to Build a Better World". Follow-up posts coming up....

You CAN have it all, just not all at the same time

The Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing Conference was a really great experience. It was inspirational, embedded more confidence in me, and made me realize how important it is for me to be able to help others through my career and passions. This was my first conference and I will never forget it. Not only did I get to spend some quality time with my fellow executive members of WISE, but I learned a lot about myself in the process.

Networking

This conference allowed me to network with other women in related fields who had a lot in common with me. These women from around the world gave me advice, told me about their experiences, and made me feel a sense of community.

Realistic Advice

Many sessions included guest speakers telling their stories based on the session topic and answering questions. Depending on the session, the questions from the audience ranged from maternity leave, to planning regional conferences, to outreach programs, to becoming a technical leader. Several sessions got into the topic of internships, and how valuable they are to discovering what options are out there. Other sessions included reviewing resumes and there were recruiters who spoke about what they look for in an employee. Many speakers mentioned the importance of having a mentor. Another session involved discussing successes of other women’s groups from around the world (British Columbia, Mexico, India, and Singapore). We got a few suggestions on how to improve WISE and delegate tasks to reduce our work load. The real life stories, experiences and advice were very valuable.

Inspiration Everywhere

All the wonderful women around me gave me hope that I can reach all my goals if I really aim high and don’t be afraid of taking risks. Everyone has struggles and must overcome failure. They encouraged me to be persistant in my career and personal goals, told me to set boundaries in my life, and made me realize that you really can have it all, just not all at the same time.

Final Reflections of the Grace Hopper Conference

As I wrote on my own blog, the last couple of days in Colorado were truly amazing. I spoke to several wonderful women who were able to give me some great advice and ideas, and got to go hiking with some awesome Google girls. This conference was the most fun, useful, inspiring, and enlightening I have heard of or been to yet.

Here are some of the great things I learned or experiences I gained while at this conference:

• New ideas for outreach activities that I can do through CU-WISE and the Let's Talk Science program.
• I really do want to be an instructor and teach.
• I should definitely do an internship that is not close to home, even though I'm actually pretty scared of leaving my house and husband!
• CU-WISE might eventually be capable of running a local celebration of women in computing if we work with several other groups.
• The girls from Google are great hikers and great company.
• Hemp and bamboo shirts and soft and comfy (thanks Microsoft!).
• Women's conferences actually give away shirts made for women. Finally, swag I don't have to give to my husband!
• Inspiration can come from the most unexpected places.
• Volunteering is the best way to meet new people.
• Dancing with all women is a lot of fun (especially since most guys hate dancing anyway)!
• The Macarena is usually cheesy, but looks cool when a whole room of people are lined up to do it.

I'm sure there's much more than that, too! I hope you will all make an effort to attend this conference before you graduate (or even after you do!). Hope to see you next year in Tucson, Arizona!

Outreach

As you may have noticed, CU-WISE is hoping to get involved with many outreach programs around the Ottawa area. While at the Grace Hopper conference in Colorado, I attended several talks about specific projects others have done, ideas for new activities to try, and discussion on how to best attract high school women into computer science. If you're interested in this area at all, please check out the summaries of the talks linked to below. If you have any ideas or questions about outreach, let me know in the comments.

• The Artemis Project: Teaching Computer Science to Adolescent Girls
• Using Robots to Introduce Computer Programming to Middle Schools
• Inspiring Girls in Technology: How to Make Every Outreach a Success
• Recruiting High School Women Into Computer Science

Quick update on Keystone

We spent most of our afternoon yesterday out on the lake. It is absolutely beautiful here at Keystone and the weather has been so warm in the afternoons (but still chilly in the mornings and evenings).

Today was our first day of the conference. Spent most of the time volunteering and running around from the resume clinic to various networking events. We were all exhausted by the end of the night. Our schedules for the next two days of the conference are already packed with sessions and events. Time to catch up on that sleep...!

Networking at Grace Hopper

If you ever doubted the power of networking, then be sure to attend Grace Hopper next year. They aren't kidding when they say that this is one of the main conference goals. Read all about it on my personal blog and let me know what ideas you have for improving your networking skills (leave me a comment).

Balancing your career/research and motherhood

After listening to the opinion and experiences of many women in academia and industry I am convinced that there is no such a thing as "the right time" to have children. After meeting amazing women today, technical women building a better world (the focus of this year GHC), I have realized that if you work in something you are passioned about you will find ways to also reach your personal goals. I was very happy to know that in this conference there is childcare available for all the attendees and that many moms are here with their kids and even their babies.



This is the kind of networking environment you will see here, successful women that have reached their goals, and not only at the professional level. It's always nice to see the theory in practice. Thank you to Seraphim Carlson from Yahoo who nicely accepted to have her and her baby's picture taken and published in our blog.


To end this short blog after a long day of conference activities and hopper tasks, I thrilled went I discover that the menu of the lunch and the dinner was mexican food, such a treat for me.
I feel lucky to be in the right place with the right people, and the conference has just started!!

Kayaking with the ducks and the geese

Today we had all day to explore Keystone Resort. One of the most exciting things we did was to kayak a little lake in Lakeside Village. We relaxed on the water while all the geese and ducks followed us around. Of course the view was amazing and the sun was shining bright. I hope we get a chance to go bike riding around the resort at some point. The conference starts tomorrow, so we'll be pretty busy the rest of the week.

A Lazy Day in Colorado

When we arrived in Keystone late this morning, our breath was taken away. The mountains were just beautiful. Then, while checking in, we saw the lake below the Spa and Lounge and its pure blue-green water. Just when you thought it couldn't get better!

The best part was that we didn't even need to fulfil our volunteer duties of the day when the morning shift of swag bag stuffers finished the job before we were even needed! So we used the free time to borrow a paddle boat and kayaks to float around the lake. What a peaceful hour and a half.

I wrote a more detailed account of our day, complete with a few photos, on my personal blog. Check it out to see just how lucky we are to be in paradise!

Newark...?!?

So we all met up at the airport two hours before our flight was supposed to depart... only to find out that our flight has been delayed and they changed our itinerary and we were now flying to Newark instead of Chicago, where we would be transferring to another plane to get to Denver. Wait.......Where the hell is Newark...?!?


Good question. That's exactly what went through all our minds when we realized that the woman behind the desk said "Newark" instead of "New York". What a disappointment...

Annnd about 6 hours later, and lots of running around big airports, we're finally in Denver, Colorado. We'll be off to Keystone tomorrow morning to start our Hopper assignments!

I can't believe we're finally in Colorado

After so much planning for this conference, like getting funding, applying for scholarships, applying to be Hoppers (a volunteer position during the conference), registering, submitting our resumes, and so on.... we're finally in Denver! So far, we had a few issues with delayed flights and Natalia got questioned at the airport which caused her to almost miss her flight (literally by a few seconds). But other than that, I'm excited to see what this week brings.

Gearing Up For Grace Hopper

After some trial and tribulation, the executive members of CU-WISE have finally made it to Denver, Colorado for the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing (you can read my detailed account of the actual trip on my personal blog). We're staying near the airport tonight, but we're heading to Keystone first thing tomorrow morning.

We were all accepted as volunteers, called "Hoppers," which means we have special duties to help the conference out in exchange for free registration. Most of us are doing bag stuffing tomorrow and then various duties like greeting or manning the Internet Cafe the day after. I think this should be a wonderful way to meet new people right away and learn about the conference before it actually begins on Wednesday.

I'm super excited about being here. I've been wanting to go to this conference since my trip to Google in May when I first heard about it. It's amazing that we were able to find the funding and support that we got, and I hope we'll bring back a lot of great information and advice to benefit our CU-WISE members, and help us reach out to younger women.

We're on our way to GHC'08

After changing our itinerary, staying one hour in the plane waiting to take off and a headache, we're spending the night in Denver and tomorrow we'll take the shuttle to Keystone Resort, go the GHC '08 conference: http://gracehopper.org/2008/ .
The only thing I can say now is that this experience will be unique: I'm travelling with other 3 girls (Barb, Gail and Serena, executives of CU-WISE) and I expect 98% of women in this conference, as oposed to 10-20% which I normally see.
I'm really excited and I know that all the troubles we went through to get funding and work in advance will be worth it.